|
What I love about the web is the opportunity to share my thoughts with others. But I also like to hear what others think and to exchange ideas.
So, for this issue..i got a mail from someone (anynomous)..He's want to share with us with some of his thought!!
check it out!!
I'm 14 and think my mom is way too strict. All of my friends have a curfew of 2 a.m. on the weekends, and my mom sets mine at 11 p.m. How can I get her to change her mind?
In most situations, 2 a.m. is too late for a person your age to be home on any night. In fact, in some cities, suburbs, and even rural communities, there are legal curfews stating at what time people under age 18 or 16 must be home.
Perhaps your friends' parents don't care. Wouldn't this be worse? Imagine if you came to the dinner table every night and your mother was slumped on the sofa, drinking a beer and watching TV? Try to be thankful for the fact that your mother does care about you. Sit down and talk with her about what your friends go out to do so late at night and explain why you want to be out late. Perhaps there's an alternative way to have the same fun without being out so late.
Is it okay to spank children? We talked about it at school and our book about family living said it was not. But the teacher said children "needed" a swat now and then when they acted really bad. I'm confused.
This is a matter of debate in our society. Even as recently as 20 years ago, spanking as a form of discipline was much more widely accepted than it is today. Some people still think it is all right, while others view it as child abuse.
Those in the child care and child advocacy field generally agree that spanking as a form of punishment is not acceptable in any situation. Usually a parent is disciplining from anger, and may not be aware of how hard the child is being struck. Parents who spank in such a way that they leave visible marks can be investigated for child abuse by human services offices in most (if not all) places in the U.S.
So, to try to answer your question, some people still believe a spanking is okay, but most people do not. My grandma told me that in the old days, teachers used to whip students with whips! This bothers me, because my other grandmother, who is now dead, used to be a teacher. Is this true?
Yes, it is, surprisingly. But don't worry about your grandmother. Since you are 18 or under, it all likelihood your grandmother was almost assuredly born in the 20th century. The instances when whips were occasionally used were usually in rural schools and in prairie times, such as the 1800s. However, it was not common. Remember that there were many loving teachers, even in the old days, who got their students to behave without ever laying a hand on them.
We can't worry too much about what happened in the old days, except to know our history and make sure the bad things don't repeat themselves. We know more than ever now about how to discipline and how to be good parents in a way that is fair to children.
And how about a mail for parents??
Forecast: Squalls
Almost every new parent or caregiver of a baby has experienced a long bout with a crying baby. Some call the baby "colicky," some call her "cranky," but no matter what the name, it can be very difficult on even the most patient parent.
What can you do to relieve your tension when the baby cries incessantly? There are specific ways to get through this time, and they're important to learn. With extreme frustration, the temptation is to grab and shake the baby--which can result in permanent brain damage.
Don't get to this point. Have a plan ready to help take care of yourself.
The first step is to let go of assigning fault in the situation.
"Don't blame the baby--she can't help it," says Katherine Gordy Levine, a psychotherapist and author of Parents are People Too (Penguin Books, 1997). "Don't blame yourself. You are doing the best you can."
Levine, who has advised parents and been a foster parent, offers specific ideas:
1. Sleep when you can. "Priorities at this stage should be feeding yourself, feeding your baby, changing her, and sleeping," she says.
2. Use self-soothing exercises, such as deep breathing and visualization.
3. Arrange for time away from the baby. Hire a sitter, exchange babysitting, or call helpful relatives and trusted friends to babysit.
4. When you are alone with baby and cannot comfort her, put her in her crib, make sure she is safe, and without leaving the house, get away from the screaming. Play comforting music or take a shower.
5. If you're in a new place or can't reach your helpers and feel you're going to become abusive, call or go to a neighborhood church or synagogue for help.
6. Use a slogan to help you get them through these times. "My all-time favorite is 'Now is not forever,'" says Levine. She adds: "Be patient. You and your baby will survive and eventually even thrive."
|
